Escaped Convict.

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns.
Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the
guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's
wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck,
then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife:
'Listen, This guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's
probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in
years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't
resist, don't complain...do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no
matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very
dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!'

His wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in
my ear. He told me that he's g a y, thinks you're cute, and asked
if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be
strong honey. I love you too.'

Wow this one made me laugh really bad, poor guy hahaha

poor guy had the story all wrong.funny though